The Ridiculously Horny Disney Princess

"I miss him though. Too much. I miss the friend I had in him. But things got really, really messy."

"I hope he learns. Not necessarily get back with you. But I hope he learns what he didnt fully utilize during his time with you."

"I hope that he learns that I am not a Cruella de Vil. I just had needs. Itches that needed to be scratched."

"I hope he learns that you're a Disney princess who's ridiculously horny."

***

Dear Dan,

I miss you too much. But I know you couldn't agree more when I say that I don't deserve even your friendship. What I did fell under the category Kupalite activity. You have told me well ahead of time that you don't tolerate them, and such activities will make you just go away. I saw this coming. I don't have the right to whine and throw a tantrum over you just leaving me.

I tried to be good. To you. I tried to be good the way I knew good. I was trying, I wanted things to be better, I wanted to be better, but I eventually figured that my motivation was wrong. You laid out to me a chance, a shot to something that will weather years. I wanted more. More of you. I failed to understand that you are still broken, and there is only so much that you can give.

It had to take you going away, but know that I have finally learned the things that you have been drilling into me for the last four, five months. These, I will take with me well beyond the next five years.

Tempted as I am to give myself a pat on the back for having this record time with you, I figured I better not. The show ran for five months not because of me. You should be lauded for the efforts. It lasted mostly because of you. It ended because of me.

You lost the feeling. I lost the trust. I keep telling myself that maybe I was right in retracting the faith. I would rather not know if I am right for doing preemptive retaliation.

I love you. (Yes, I have a very skewed concept of love.)

Joie

***

Still utterly

utterly

confused.

(But I think I have a clue or two.)